Week 1

PLAYERS OF THE WEEK

After the first week of matchups, not surprisingly, Stunna is ranked first in the "Intergalatic Destroyers" division. Surprisingly, Impending Doom is running the "Defenders of the Stars" division. Nice start, boys.

In real life, NL and AL players of the week were announced. The NL crown goes to Roy Halladay, owned by Ladies Love Us. I'm up against Jenni this week, and I'm getting my nightvision goggles out. This man (demi-god?) is LIGHTS OUT BITCHES!!!!111

And the AL title went to Miguel Cabrera, who has had a solid start, trying his best not to waste at-bats, especially in desperate times. Who can poke at the mighty arm of Cy Younger Zack Greinke? Why only THE LORD MIGGY!!!!11

There's no honorary mention in reality, but in fantasy, I've created one this week just for team béisbol. Not only is the team name profoundly epic and deeply influential, but he owns Jorge Cantú, RBI ROYALTY.

(Sorry, no crown. Maybe more like aristocracy, but that doesn't alliterate.)

Cantú has said that he wants to have 100RBI this season. So I was thinking, AN RBI A DAY! But after his stellar performance this week, it's more like AN RBI A DAY! OR 2 OR 5! Keep up the fine work, Jorgie and béisbol! Let's hope some idiot pitcher doesn't smashy his wrist this year after a solid start to the season like last year. Looking back..haha I didn't even have Jorgie in my lineup that week of 14RBI beasting last year. (Sidenote after looking at that post again: Joe, if you have some spare time from eBay labor, I'd like to request beasting reports from time to time, whatever catches your eye.)

In the near future, you will see an updated banner for this blog. A zygotic vision is beginning to develop. Once it is more or less fully developed, I will neglect some important paper and spend my time on Photoshop instead with the banner so that we will have something functional and relevant up for May. If you have any suggestions of what to add or omit, please let me know.

Week 5 Matchup: Ladies Love Us vs. The Poppersteins

The Marauders of Time's best, non-robotic teams are up against each other this week--Jenni's Ladies Love us and my Poppersteins. I intended to set this blog up as a place where I can vent about the weather postponing my TIGERS vs. WHITE SOX games (that's about 90% of my lineup) and most importantly, pour out my hatred on arbitup. But those days have passed, at least for now, and I have been relatively calm as of late. Last week I nearly swept the commissioner's team, and this week, I am up against Jenni, who has similar managing techniques as me. Our teams are well-managed in that we love our players through thick and thin, and independently of our fantasy commitments (at least compared to other managers, from what I can figure). I think we serve as exemplary fantasy owners and I want to see our teams dominate this league.

Today, at the Rangers vs. White Sox game, a family sat behind us and at the start of the game, the little girl wouldn't stop asking "WHERE'S WAHN OORIBAY?" After her dad ignored that question, she yelled, "I WANNA SEE NICK SWISHER!" Good call, little girl. Ladies Love Us is definitely collectively handsome, but I think what really makes me love them is the addition of Nick Swisher. I can't find any photos, but Swisher was recently ejected from the game for arguing a called strike. I follow Swisher's Twitter, and later that night, I saw this update:


These are the little but awesome joys I look forward to in Celebrity Twitter. In addition, he has pinch pitched a scoreless inning, blessed our economy, and Lil Wayne thinks that the explanation for all of this is that Swisher is an alien (this is how Lil Wayne explains his own greatness, or "greatness," your pick). To me, Swisher is the behind-the-scenes-glue to Ladies Love Us, even if his batting average this week is .059 and he starts left bench next week or some other week in the future.

In other Matchup news, it seems like both Jenni's star players ("manager's pet[s]," perhaps) are not doing all that well, and the same goes for me. Miggy was doing good earlier this week but has succumbed to the powers of power-pitching. I was counting on Jorge (believe in yourself, Jorge!) and Carlos to do some work like they did last week, but so far, not too impressive. On Ladies Love Us, it looks like Grady and Robbie are in a bit of a slump. But then these non-manager's pets are coming up, saving the day! Casey Blake and Adam Dunn are working some magic for Jenni, and BRANDON PHILLIPS for me. Six of Phillips' RBIs are from one game. But now he's down with the flu. Imagine he had the swine flu? I forgot to think about pitchers more carefully, but we know how beautifully things went down today.

Anyway, there are still two big days left. I am currently taking many categories, but a lot of them are really close. Ideally, it'd be tied and we'd own the league together. But with Nar's Hit By Pitch, i.e. HANLEY, going nuts, hmmm. We'll find a way!