August 1998, Lincoln Park High School
Freshman year of high school begins for managers Joe, Nar, Andy, and me. I remember seeing Joe and the whole armada of "gifted" Bell students* on the first day of school outside the freshman building--he and Vinh were playing TETRIS AGAINST EACH OTHER on GRAPHING CALCULATORS. I had never seen a graphing calculator in my life before high school.
Anyway, I also distinctly remember a tall Asian boy, initially always with a tall Eastern European boy (who later turned out to be the genius trilingual Admir), walking around like they had places to be. I think they took their ID photos before me. Said tall Asian boy wore Polo, baggy jeans, and had a BOWL CUT that was GELLED INTO SECTIONS, making him look like he had a black PINEAPPLE BOWL CUT (the closest I could get is the image above right; photos courtesy of Joe; graffiti on right courtesy of Wesley, I think). I had never seen so many Asians in one place before, and Andy was one of the first who taught me, implicitly, that one can be "so Asian" by: hanging out with other Asians, wearing Ralph Lauren/Polo and Abercrombie & Fitch, gelling hair, and aiming for good grades, among other things. (For girls, I found that being Asian entailed wearing lots of Bebe as well, at least in our time.)*I put the word "gifted" in quotes because that's what they were called, not because I doubt or hate on their giftedness. I can only hope my children can qualify for Bell's gifted program.
High School and Beyond
Andy was a stellar student in high school, studying hard, running hard, working hard for the money, and possibly even spiking hard on the volleyball team (I recall at least one successful spike while keeping score junior year, or was that Wesley?). He was also apparently a black belt in tae kwon do. It was rumored that he was the nicest boyfriend ever, possibly even too nice. He attended a liberal arts college on a full scholarship, studying history and economics, and becoming the most popular frat boy of his class. He landed a job as a FINANCIAL BALLER in Chicago, first living near that ratty Sears up north, then Wrigleyville ("Go Cubbies!" says Andy all the time) and now in a fancy condo skyscraper (OK, not really). I once took the pleasure of pretending to be Andy in his Wrigleyville apartment:
And here is Joe in Andy's tae kwon do gear, dancing to I think New Kids On The Block, but it could have been something else on Sing Star.
So, Andy is a very friendly, nice guy, who takes excellent care of his people. The only flaw I can think of pre-Fantasy is that he buys a lot of store brand shit. He had us over for a wine and cheese party recently, and the only cheese he had was what looked like ONE Kraft Single in his fridge, but it turned out to be a Jewel version made to look like Kraft, with all that navy blue design. That was so wrong.2009 Baseball Season
Unable to find enough managers for an ideal league, Mordecai asked and persuaded Andy to join. Mordecai always says of Andy, "We're bros," so I think Mordecai didn't just want Andy to be in our league for the sake of having at least 8 teams; I think he wanted to strengthen their friendship through Fantasy. Here is photographic evidence of them being "bros," even though there's a general air of disinterestedness or detachment or something not-very-bro-y permeating through the photo:
Andy joined as team "arbitup." The significance of the name is currently unknown, though it seems like the name wasn't created to have no meaning--Andy recently joined Twitter and his username changed from his full name to "andy_arb." So far, Joe and I have thought of some kind of connection to Arby's. I invite others to think of hypotheses.Unfortunately for Mordecai, the bro-bond is not strengthening at all. As far as anyone can tell, it seems like Andy is completely neglecting his Fantasy duties. He was not present for the live draft, and it appeared he had not set up a pre-draft ranking list. Moreover, he had LAST PICK and still ended up with an outstanding lineup. He has definitely made no moves for his team since the season has started; I don't think he's ever changed his lineup; and it looks like he never even logs in to check on his team or anything in the league. Some of us have actually seen him since the draft and since the season has started, and yet no one has been able to discern whether he cares about Fantasy at all or is secretly trying to destroy us. Maybe he has good reasons to shirk all Fantasy duties, but what's so frustrating is that he's doing SO WELL and has suffered NO INJURIES. And here are all these other managers pouring their hearts out into Fantasy, suffering injuries, lineup changes, roster changes, shuffling around in the league standings every week instead of staying steady in the top three every week.
After this week, we'll all have gone through the first cycle of facing every team. Will arbitup keep up the fantastic work? Will Andy ever really need to change his lineup? Will he surface and publicly participate? Will he ever care about any baseball besides the Cubs? arbitup is indeed one of the greater mysteries of our league. To be continued, perhaps.
