Week 1

PLAYERS OF THE WEEK

After the first week of matchups, not surprisingly, Stunna is ranked first in the "Intergalatic Destroyers" division. Surprisingly, Impending Doom is running the "Defenders of the Stars" division. Nice start, boys.

In real life, NL and AL players of the week were announced. The NL crown goes to Roy Halladay, owned by Ladies Love Us. I'm up against Jenni this week, and I'm getting my nightvision goggles out. This man (demi-god?) is LIGHTS OUT BITCHES!!!!111

And the AL title went to Miguel Cabrera, who has had a solid start, trying his best not to waste at-bats, especially in desperate times. Who can poke at the mighty arm of Cy Younger Zack Greinke? Why only THE LORD MIGGY!!!!11

There's no honorary mention in reality, but in fantasy, I've created one this week just for team béisbol. Not only is the team name profoundly epic and deeply influential, but he owns Jorge Cantú, RBI ROYALTY.

(Sorry, no crown. Maybe more like aristocracy, but that doesn't alliterate.)

Cantú has said that he wants to have 100RBI this season. So I was thinking, AN RBI A DAY! But after his stellar performance this week, it's more like AN RBI A DAY! OR 2 OR 5! Keep up the fine work, Jorgie and béisbol! Let's hope some idiot pitcher doesn't smashy his wrist this year after a solid start to the season like last year. Looking back..haha I didn't even have Jorgie in my lineup that week of 14RBI beasting last year. (Sidenote after looking at that post again: Joe, if you have some spare time from eBay labor, I'd like to request beasting reports from time to time, whatever catches your eye.)

In the near future, you will see an updated banner for this blog. A zygotic vision is beginning to develop. Once it is more or less fully developed, I will neglect some important paper and spend my time on Photoshop instead with the banner so that we will have something functional and relevant up for May. If you have any suggestions of what to add or omit, please let me know.

Profile Pictures

I finally got around to looking at baseball box scores a few hours ago, and something I saw struck my attention.

These two guys were the 'top batters' for their respective teams.

Which reminded me of this:

Last year after Pudge left the Yankees to sign with the Astros, this became his profile picture sometime in the first month or two of the year. It was the first time I had seen the slightly zoomed out camera angle that I think makes the players look malnourished. Actually I can't think of any player picture with that view since Pudge, until this year's new photos came out. So I looked at the box scores of every game played yesterday and looked for new pictures, and here's what I got:

Johnny Damon


Vladimir Guerrero


Miguel Tejada


Adrian Beltre


Rick Ankiel


Milton Bradley


Juan Pierre


Victor Martinez


Marlon Byrd


Jake Peavy


Marco Scutaro


Chone Figgins


Hideki Matsui


Jason Bay


Rich Harden


Adam Laroche


Alex Rios


Matt Holliday


Curtis Granderson


Nate Mclouth


Jeff Francouer


Melky Cabrera


At first I thought the zoomed out view made everyone look younger, but it seems to be more when they don't fill the frame vertically.
One thing I'm wondering is why it seems like everyone's jerseys are hanging a little to the left as evidenced by the amount of undershirt you can see.
Another odd thing-no new pictures for any pitchers.
Part of me prefers the old-frame filling photos, but those photos of the Mets and Melky Cabrera I would keep in my wallet if I were related to them. That's some Van Gogh School Photographers poses right there.

Letters

Dear Felix,

Please accept my apologies for only drafting you in three out of four fantasy leagues. I'm sorry I doubted you for a second, and that I was momentarily drawn by the high ranking status of Roy Halladay. I should have stuck with The Plan, which was the one-two Venezuelan punch of drafting Miggy and then you. I will make sure to appreciate you in my other three leagues. I will also work on expanding my King Felix baseball card collection.

Have a good season!!!

Love forever and ever,
Kei

DRAFT DAY

He looks so happy and so young in the face!

On Saturday night, I was planning out my "IDEAL TEAM: THE POPPERSTEINS," but I was also preparing for a backup plan, known as "NON-IDEAL TEAM: THE LITTLE OMARS." I was trying to prepare myself for the worst: last pick, no Miguel Cabrera. Thirty minutes before the draft, I found out I was--oh, indeed--LAST PICK. I panicked, thinking that there was no way I'd get the LORD MIGGY, whose overall rank by Yahoo was 11. I was prepared to go with plan B and select players to whom I had no particular attachments but also knew were good people to have, so that I could terrorize the entire league with them. I was envisioning being the MoT version of Omar Little from "The Wire."

But by the grace of fantasy baseball gods, I ended up with the LORD MIGGY! First of all, Ryan Howard was totally unloved and neglected in the first round. And then there was magic. I must personally thank both Slippery Logicians and Waste Wildenstein. I owe these managers a cookie or two. Slippery Logicians made sure to secure MIKE LOWELL, for familial reasons, and Waste Wildenstein locked in ace pitchery in the form of TIM LINCECUM. As our favorite Steak 'N Shake waiter says, "Gooood choiiiice, gooood choiiiice..." With these moves, I was able to select Miggy. I had to pick again immediately after because of the snaking order, so I was able to get my ideal second pick, KING FELIX HERNANDEZ. The rest of my team is a strange mashup of Tigers, Rockies, and Marlins players, with an estranged person here and there.

The draft took three hours to complete and I am exhausted. Unfortunately, I have to deal with this thing called "reality," but I'll be back soon with a collage of my team.